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Pre-Wedding Tips




Pre-Wedding Tips

Is Premarital Counseling or Education for You?

Deciding to get or stay engaged?

Premarital / Relationship Inventories

Bonding & Marriage Success

Guide to Guys


Cold Feet

Your Mother and You

Interfaith, Intercultural and Interracial Marriage

Balancing Togetherness & Individuality

What's In a Name - Changing Yours?

Pre-Wedding Stress Management

Pre-Wedding Time Management

Pre-Marriage Couples Counseling

Marriage Facts

Radio program on marriage success research that couples should hear!

Seven Keys to Success

Stages of Marriage

Five-to-One Ratio

What are the most important factors in marriage success?

Differences, incompatibilities and marriage success

Who’s in control in your relationship?

Communication & conflict resolution

Becoming Parents

Financial issues

Balancing Family and Work



Married sexuality

Marriage-Related Books We Like

Search for a topic

Guide to Marriage Success, our premarital education book



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"...Easy to relate to and highly effective…. Exactly what I was looking for…. A must."




Deciding whether to get or stay engaged?


Lots of couples use the MST seminar to assess their readiness for marriage, their long-term compatibility, to understand the sources of their qualms about commitment, etc. (Some couples also use the seminar to address a period of negativity or a breach in their relationship (e.g., a broken engagement, an affair, etc.) and to begin restoring their positive bond.)


The seminar is really very well suited for this purpose because it helps couples to appreciate how much of their experience (including their fears and doubts) is normal and shared even by engaged and newlywed couples. It also helps them to understand their own and their partner's long-term expectations which are very important to overcoming uncertainty and building an even stronger bond. Often 20-25 percent of couples at a seminar are in some stage of 'deciding' about engagement. (Of course, this varies.)


Guys especially often get a lot more out of the experience and feel more validated for their approach to relationship and intimacy than some of them were expecting to.


We spend substantial time building relationship skills. Usually understanding these skills (and that different strategies work for different types of couples) can be an important part of developing confidence in your personal readiness for marriage. It's reassuring to many people to learn that an intentional, strategizing approach to relationships can take a lot of the risk out marriage and make for a much more fulfilling relationship over the long run.


We will also cover issues like gender and style related differences in relationships, the evolution of sexuality in long-term relationships, how to manage the 5 - 7 unresolvable differences that every couple encounters, etc. Look over the other articles on to understand more about our approach.


The main thing is that you get some expert understanding of what it will take to make YOUR style of relationship work best for BOTH of you, a lot of private time talking together in a structured way, understanding each other more intimately and strategizing about your relationship, and an opportunity to involve us in assisting you IF you want. (Some couples go through the entire seminar very privately without involving us at all.)


We get excellent feedback from couples who are deciding about their future about the value of the seminar experience and the insights they gained.


It’s not at all unusual for couples to experience doubts about marriage and commitment, even (and in some cases, especially) when they have announced their engagement or set a date. When some couples encounter conflict, they assume that these challenges cast doubt on their compatibility. They don't realize that all couples face conflict; there is no perfectly compatible partner. It is the couple's approach to their differences that can make the difference between relationship success and failure.  MST will help you identify and work though some of the underlying sources of your concerns. It will give you and your partner more confidence in your capacity to succeed in your marriage.  You will be reassured by your improved understanding and preparation for the reality of marriage, including its tremendous prospects for enriching your lives.


Give us a call or send an e-mail if you'd like to discuss your situation further and we'll be happy to answer any questions.



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Copyright 2005, Patricia S. & Gregory A. Kuhlman. You may copy this article for non-commercial use provided that no changes are made and this copyright notice, author credit and source citation are included.







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